are you ready to have kids??

Read this on another forum and it cracked me up!
Are you ready to have kids?

Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the newspaper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breast feeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior. Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favourite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.

Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Christmas Eve

Well as another year comes to close I think back to all the wonderful ways the Lord has blessed me and my family this year!!My husband's new job,a wonderful addition to our family,Miss Violet Rayne and i couldn't ask for a better big sister to Violet,Lillian is so loving and nurturing,she is like a little mother to her,always giving her lovies and making her smile :)A year of healthiness,lots of Blessings both big and small.

Do you ever wonder what Mary must have thought when she delivered the child that was sent to save world...to save her. Have you ever thought that when she kissed her baby as all we mothers do, she kissed the face of the Son of God, the Creator of the universe and all that is in it? Wow.


I'm spending the rest of this day with my babies,taking them to church,baking cookies for santa,sprinkling reindeer food on the lawn for the reindeers,visitng with friends and opening presents as a family,then tomorrow will be filled with awe and excitement watching my three year old's face light up when she sees what santa has brought for her,cuddling with my family all day and having birthday cake for Jesus :)


Merry Christmas to each of you....I pray that this season of love will reveal to you the immense love that God has for you ~ that He sent his only son, Jesus, to be born as a man, who would ultimately be the sacrafice for our salvation. As the angels sang; "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." Luke: 2:14

Less than a month to go!

i cannot believe in less than a month i will be a mom of two beautiful little girls,holding my second daughter,and Lillian will be a big sister,wow this pregnancy flew by.I am so blessed i felt great for the most part for this pregnancy,some sore ribs and a little less energy but all in all pretty good, i can't complain! shopping for little girl's clothes has quickly become my new second favorite hobby :) but long before i knew i was pregnant i always knew i wanted my two little girls to be matchy matchy sometimes, and lillian loves dressing up and changing her clothes a million times so it works out :) Here is one of my maternity pictures,i'm 30 wks in the picture.

It's a......GIRL!!!!!!

We were really thinking boy but we are just as excited,now i get my two little girls to be all girly & matchy,like little twins!!another little princess :)I'm 21 weeks and she weighs almost 1 lb.

Oue new furry family member

Nate has been saying for awhile how he wanted a dog,a bigger dog that would protect it's family but also get along great with Lillian & be a good family dog.So long story short,May 2nd we went down to ARC http://www.animalrefuge.com/ a no kill animal shelter and we adopted Rita or as Lillian says "Rito" and we couldn't be happier. Lillian says, "She's my sister,she's my best friend" it makes my heart melt <3 she is a 11 month old female german shepherd and other than trying to eat food off the stove if we're not watching her or chewing an occasional princess teapot or play shoe,she's awesome,house trained,loving,obedient,loves to cuddle and gives kisses,a great addition to our family!

Some Of Lillian's 3 yr old photos

If you know me,you know i am a BIG picture NUT,and big is an under-statement ;) but i love taking pictures of my baby girl and i love getting pictures done professionally of her,for a few different reasons,she is very photogenic,a ham for the camera,she's beautiful,she won't be little forever,and she has so many different expressions and always showing different sides to her personality that i love to capture that in pictures in hopes that i always remember these moments.Here are a few of her at 3 years old.

Tj's surprise birthday weekend!!

Ash called and asked if i wanted to come up to Pennsylvania for Tj's birthday weekend as a surprise and of course i couldn't say no to that.This would be my first time visiting tj up here in his home in PA since he moved here almost 3 years ago,I would get to see my best friend,i got to go out of town for the weekend, and it would ultimately be the best surprise birthday for him EVER, so far anyways :)It has been jammed packed with fun,my weekend has included my first trip to the Cheesecake factory-DELICIOUS!the new Mark wahlberg movie with tina fey,Date night-super funny,a trip to the Shady maple Smorgasbord,all you can eat buffet,the largest here in Lancaster county with an even bigger & better gift shop downstairs!Kitchen kettle village,all these neat little shops & restaurants in Intercourse,PA(gotta love the town name)a trip to the arcade where i played laser tag for the first time,the first time i was not-so-good,but the 2nd time i was really having fun and getting the hang of it,running around in the dark with black lights shooting at people with my laser gun,some bowling & air hockey and the arcade had my all time favorite arcade game-EVER,House of the dead,a shooting zombies game and they had all 4 versions of it!! i spent a lot of my tokens on those games, i can't find that game anywhere anymore,they use to have one at the AMC theatre back home but they got rid of it and i haven't been able to find it since until now :)Followed by church with the family,Italian buffet for lunch with Italian ice for dessert-yummo,a lazy Sunday afternoon nap then game night with his family & friends & dq birthday cake for the birthday boy.I couldn't ask for a better weekend with my bestie! A big thank you to my wonderful hubby at home who didn't mind i left him and my princess for a couple days,while i came up here to celebrate Tj's birthday & the release of his first book,he truly is the BEST,love you hunny.Now i'm enjoying my last couple hours before i fly back home to the sunshine state!